Making peace with junk food has taken decades. Let me take you back alm
ost 30 years ago: My eyes gazed up at the colorful boxes of junk food lining the supermarket shelves. Twinkies, Ho Hos, and Entenmann’s taunting my 6-year-old eyes, as I stood there transfixed. As usual, my mind would drift onto The Fantasy: I was alone in the supermarket, locked in, accidentally forgotten about. I had the whole supermarket to myself and no one to find me for hours. I could sample anything I wanted to, eat as many cookies as I desired, and I could do this all night long.
If that doesn’t signal a real, dysfunctional relationship with food from a young age, I don’t know what does. I mean, I was more than happy to be ABANDONED in the name of Oreos!!! Locked completely alone in a supermarket so that I could stuff my face with everything I wasn’t allowed to have at home.
Restricting Junk Food
Maybe that was part of the problem. My mom, always weight and health conscious, rarely bought anything considered junk food. The only reason we had a constant supply of fig newtons was because she erroneously thought they were a health food, thanks to you know, “the figs.” We also had a constant supply of popsicles, likely because they were 20 calories each and “fat free.” I’d eat 8 at once.
Sure, making foods forbidden certainly sprinkles fairy dust on them. Restriction certainly made me more preoccupied with them because that’s how our brain works. But I don’t think it was solely responsible. Having two kids of my own, I’ve noticed something interesting, an apparent wiring that makes one kid borderline obsessed with junk food the way I was, while the other one could take it or leave it. Same parents, same house, same kitchen and food options available. In your face Nurture! Nature’s got a leg up on this one.
There’s lots of evidence that different people react differently to the same food. While Karen’s reward center lights up slightly like a dim bulb when she eats ice cream, yours might be exploding. Drugs like Contrave work on that reward center to make highly-rewarding foods less satisfying. Makes sense.
Fighting It
For years I tried the all or nothing approach. I read countless books villainizing sugar and refined grains, convincing myself that if only I could be 100% free from them, I would conquer life. My problems would go away. It was an uphill battle. I’d be successful for a few days, maybe a few weeks, until that moment when my willpower buckled, as willpower eventually does. And then? And then I’d be a total shit show for days. Maybe weeks. Until I had enough and resolved to go sugar free once and for all. Again. Isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result? Yeah, I thought so.
The Truth
Do I think refined sugar and carbs are healthy? No, I do not think they are good for our health. But what diet books fail to mention is that quantity matters. There is an astronomic difference in your health and weight when 10% of your diet comes from highly processed foods than when 40% of it does. And an even greater difference when 80% of it does. Do you get me? Amount really, really matters.
Understanding this could save you from a binge. Binges often start after you eat something “bad,” thinking you’ve ruined everything. might as well. The shame and guilt drives you to eat more “bad” foods because you’re already being “so bad.” The damage comes from the binge, not the original “bad food’ you ate. Diet books don’t explain this because fear mongering is highly profitable.
Making Peace With Junk Food
My eyes will always light up when I see dessert in any form. Sugar will never stop calling out to me. I have accepted this. What I have learned is to be rational. To maintain my weight and level of health, I cannot say yes every time I see something I want to eat. But I also don’t always have to say no. I have worked on developing a skill set that ensures that I can say no more than I want to say yes. Saying no is only possible for me because I’ve learned that it’s okay to say yes. It took a long time, but I have made peace with junk food.
My clients often disclose to me that prior to working with me they thought I would judge them for their food choices. That couldn’t be farther from the truth, and I hope I’ve proven that by sharing with you my love of all things junk. If you’re interested in learning more about how I work with my clients in a judgement-free way, click here.
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